Plumesworthe reminds one of a fantastic Champagne or an ultra-fine wine, poured and served in red plastic party cups to drunken college coeds who will vomit it up in a distant alley.

Just 200 miles north of Pensburg lies Plumesworthe — a vaguely East Coast town with a distinctly inflated ego. They boast about everything: their culture, their cuisine, their “civic excellence.” Try telling that to their underpaid, overworked, tan-uniformed cops who haven’t seen a raise since the last comet passed.

At the heart of the city is Poshton — a glamorous, glass-and-gold district where power wears a princess tiara, and corruption wears cologne.

Plumesworthe claims to be a sports capital. The stats disagree — elite in their own minds, if nowhere else. Still, they field a full roster of teams with names that sound like a frat house roll call:

The Plumesworthe Johnsons (baseball) - formally better.

The Plumesworthe Billies (hockey) - etiquette meets elbows.

The Plumesworthe Jimmies (basketball) - elevated game, elevated status

The Plumesworthe Johnnies (football) - polite society. Impolite defense.

The Plumesworthe Dicks (soccer) - controlled touches, uncontrolled egos.

The Four Cities of the Apocalypse!

Plumesworthe is home to:

Krony-U-Case Credit Union and Viralcard Credit — financial titans with suspiciously flexible ethics

NNN News — a multimedia behemoth that spins faster than a neutron star

RvnBks Publishing — where bestsellers are born, buried, and occasionally resurrected

Long-Black-Hill Regency — a luxury hotel chain where the pillows are fluffed with secrets

Equanimity Insurance — a shadowy firm so discreet, even their employees aren’t sure they work there

On the edge of Poshton sits Prostrate & Ramble, a product manufacturer with a name that sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Roach’s Mart, the discount retail empire, was founded here by the ever-ambitious Denis Roach. So was Khan Glomerate, the umbrella megacorp of 2024 presidential hopeful Vladimir Khan. And yes, Graffitos — the streetwear brand that thinks it invented rebellion — also started here.

Plumesworthe: where the skyline is tall, the stories are taller, and the egos are in low orbit.