The Bureaucracy Beyond Life

Death does not end the paperwork.

These records document complaints originating within Purgatoria, Heaven, Hell, the S. Ego Grounds, and the many departments of the Sun-tier administration. Souls waiting too long, celestial disputes, infernal grievances, administrative oversights, and the occasional cosmic misunderstanding all find their way here.

Some cases concern eternity.

Others concern someone losing the break room portal keys.

The Solar Archive logs both with equal professionalism.

Complaint PU‑

Filed By: Purgatoria Clerk

Category: Line Management

Complaint: “Everyone keeps asking how long the wait is.”

Sun’s Note: Forever.

Status: Closed

Complaint PU‑

Filed By: Purgatoria Intern

Category: Overwork

Complaint: “We process too many souls.”

Sun’s Note: Correct.

Status: Denied

Complaint PU‑

Filed By: Purgatoria Soul

Category: Boredom

Complaint: “I’ve been here for centuries.”

Sun’s Note: Get comfortable.

Status: Closed

Complaint PU‑

Filed By: Purgatoria Soul

Category: Confusion

Complaint: “Why am I here?”

Sun’s Note: You know why.

Status: Denied

Complaint PU‑

Filed By: Purgatoria Supervisor

Category: Staffing

Complaint: “We need more chairs.”

Sun’s Note: No.

Status: Denied

PURGATORIA COMPLAINTS (PU‑XX)

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Former A

Category: Existential

Complaint: “Why am I still working?”

Sun’s Note: Because you died on duty.

Status: Closed

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: A‑Squad

Category: Dress Code

Complaint: “Our robes are too bright.”

Sun’s Note: You are angels.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: D‑Squad

Category: Dress Code

Complaint: “Our outfits are too dark.”

Sun’s Note: You are demons.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Trip‑Sitters

Category: Emotional Trauma

Complaint: “Lower Life keep screaming.”

Sun’s Note: Wear earplugs.

Status: Acknowledged

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: AP Weapons

Category: Misuse

Complaint: “Stop using us as bottle openers.”

Sun’s Note: I warned them.

Status: Pending

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Solar Armory

Category: Inventory Loss

Complaint: “Someone keeps stealing portal tokens.”

Sun’s Note: Still Tristan.

Status: Resolved

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Angelic Choir

Category: Workplace Conditions

Complaint: “Hell’s soul‑farming practices violate Ancient Pillar ethics. Requesting inspection.”

Status: Approved

Notes: Demons filed a counter‑complaint: “Stop calling it farming.” Bearers dispatched. Write‑Ups issued.

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Angelic Choir

Category: Dress Code

Complaint: “White robes stain too easily.”

Sun’s Note: Stop sitting in clouds.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Demon Cohort

Category: Workplace Safety

Complaint: "Hell’s floor is too hot.”

Sun’s Note: It’s Mercury.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Cherub Collective

Category: Snack Shortage

Complaint: “We want more fruit variety.”

Sun’s Note: No.

Status: Rejected

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Sugar Imps

Category: Overwork

Complaint: “D‑Squad keeps making us fetch things.”

Sun’s Note: That’s your job.

Status: Closed

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Former A

Category: Training Fatigue

Complaint: “Stop assigning us new Dread‑Bearers.”

Sun’s Note: Absolutely not.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: A‑Squad

Category: Noise

Complaint: “D‑Squad is too loud.”

Sun’s Note: Correct.

Status: Approved

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: D‑Squad

Category: Silence

Complaint: “A‑Squad is too quiet.”

Sun’s Note: Also correct.

Status: Approved

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Trip‑Sitters

Category: Emotional Abuse

Complaint: “Dread‑Bearers keep running.”

Sun’s Note: Run faster.

Status: Acknowledged

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: AP Weapons

Category: Misuse

Complaint: “Stop using us to open snack bags.”

Sun’s Note: I warned them.

Status: Pending

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Solar Armory

Category: Inventory Loss

Complaint: “Someone keeps stealing portal keys.”

Sun’s Note: It’s Tristan.

Status: Resolved

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Demon Cohort

Category: Afterlife Conditions

Complaint: “Purgatoria’s arenas are too crowded. Also, the board games are missing pieces.”

Status: Denied

Notes: Uranus responded: “Bring your own board games.” Demons filed a follow‑up complaint. It was also denied.

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Angelic Choir

Category: Workplace Conditions

Complaint: “Hell’s soul‑farming practices violate Ancient Pillar ethics.”

Sun’s Note: Take it up with Mercury.

Status: Approved

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Spirit

Category: Waiting Room Conditions

Complaint: “Purgatoria’s magazines are outdated. Also, the seating is uncomfortable.”

Sun’s Note: Ask Uranus.

Status: Denied

SOLAR COMPLAINTS (SO‑XX)

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Cherub Collective

Category: Wing Fatigue

Complaint: “Our wings get tired.”

Sun’s Note: You weigh six ounces.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Sugar Imps

Category: Emotional Abuse

Complaint: “D‑Squad keeps yelling.”

Sun’s Note: Correct.

Status: Approved

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Angelic Choir

Category: Overwork

Complaint: “We sing too much.”

Sun’s Note: That is your job.

Status: Denied

Complaint SO‑

Filed By: Demon Cohort

Category: Mislabeling

Complaint: “Stop calling us ‘evil.’ We are efficient.”

Sun’s Note: Debatable.

Status: Pending

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